I don't blog about parenting a lot, because I worry about stepping over the boundaries of Soph's privacy and do not want Sophie to feel exposed, but I think and hope it's ok to blog about her fabulous go at the Adams Spelling Bee yesterday.
She did great - made it to the final 5 and then got the word aggressively. It was one she struggled with during our practices, so I worried. She missed it and oh, I could tell she was going to be very, very sad. She came right to me, sat on my lap and wept (she was not the only one crying at the spelling bee...so hard on these kiddos, but it's a hard that is ok I think).
I felt just awful, wondering how I could have helped her more, wondering why I didn't focus on that word more, etc. The reality is, she did great and she lost. Losing stinks, but it's ok. I did tell her to congratulate the winner, because even though I was aching too, I want my child, above all, to be a gracious player.
Competition is tough and it doesn't get much easier as we get older. I'm not involved in many formal competitions anymore, but there is the daily competition as we constantly measure ourselves against others. I told a friend of mine yesterday that there are times I'm jealous of her - she's so beautiful and put together and has many, many friends! It's been hard for me to find those things as strengths in our relationship rather than abandoning it because I'll never measure up to her. Jealousy is perhaps the worst feeling in the world, because it encompasses so many other yucky feelings: hurt, anger, sadness, unfulfilled desire...and yet I want to be a gracious player by not letting my jealousy keep me from knowing wonderful people!
I am proud of my daughter for getting involved in a competition, putting herself out there and congratulating the one who did better than she did - having done those things definitely makes her a winner.
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3 comments:
I love the "it's a hard that's ok I think" comment. I think it's great when kids can do their best, even (and especially) when they aren't immediately rewarded for that effort. There's a lot to be learned from striving and struggling, and there's a lot to be learned from not winning. (But winning is pretty fun, I gotta admit!)
(My hardest word growing up: beautiful. I still have to use spell check for that one sometimes.)
Doug's word is circle. He thought.. oh great an easy one ... then said it too fast and didn't say the second c. :( Sometimes for fun I ask him to spell circle for me... lol I suck at spelling.
Charlotte - I hear the teachers at Adams teach the kids the word beautiful the Jim Carrey way - b-e-a-utiful! It works!
Linda - stinkin' spelling bees and the permanent damage they do to us all!! :) I can totally imagine doing what Doug did and forgetting the second c, and forever running that word around and around in my brain...around in a circle!!
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