Timmy

Living in Utah a second time meant I got to reconnect with people I knew from my first stint here in the 90's and one of those people was Timmy (yes, that was his name as stated on his birth certificate).

I actually first saw Tim back in 1991, I just moved to Utah from Pennsylvania and he was a cashier at Smith's. I had a bit of a crush on him, with his longer blond hair, blue eyes and completely engaging smile. We eventually met due to mutual friends and from 1995 - 1998 I got to hang out with Tim quite a bit.

When we returned to Logan Tim was one of the first people I sought out. We got together and it was like never missing a beat - started talking philosophy and religion and all other deep matters. Get-togethers at Starbucks and Einstein Brothers followed, including one time when I brought Soph so Tim could tell her tales of being a caretaker of The Nunnery - a former convent in Logan Canyon. Soph loved being around Tim.

I still do not know the specifics of what caused Tim's too early passing. I do know I ache. I tried to text him a couple months ago, didn't get a response and just shelved it, thinking I'd see him before we moved.

I cannot even say I know Tim is in a better place - I don't know what happens when we leave this life. Tim was practicing Zen when I last saw him and to me he embodied the attentiveness and mindfulness of a Zen Master. My hope for him is that he is in a place in which he can continue learning, continue smiling and continue being his fabulous self, without all the grief that a life on Earth entails.