Good-bye

Yesterday was Timmy's funeral and what a testament to the person he was: there was such an eclectic group of people there, demonstrating Tim's love for all persons and his genuine interest in getting to know them.

I attended the viewing before the funeral and saw Tim, but of course, it wasn't Tim. There lay his beautiful physical form, but he had gone on. It is amazing how striking it can be to see what is left of a person when they die, just their shell. Their spirit cannot be captured in a body any longer.

The funeral had a very strong LDS tone to it, which I understand, because Tim's family is LDS. The last time I spoke with Tim he was practicing Zen and although the service was beautiful, I wanted to stand up and say, "This doesn't represent Tim!" Then again, I don't know what truly would have represented him as much as the beautiful words spoken by those who loved him, the tears flowing because we will all miss him so, so much and the laughter as stories of Tim's antics were relayed time and again.

Saying good-bye to the ability to see a person again on earth, to hug them, to laugh with them, is heart-wrenching and at this point, still somewhat surreal. I also felt strongly that I will see Tim again, hear his laugh, witness his smile and feel his arms wrapped around me when it is my turn to leave this earth.

I quote Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet (a book I gave to Timmy years ago and there's a story behind it, but I don't need to tell it, just know it made us both laugh):

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.