So I also have to talk about something and I desperately hope my Mormon friends will respond, if not on here, in person.
When I go out with my friends who are Mormon and we get dessert, I battle about ordering coffee, which I LOVE with my dessert. (Mormons are not suppose to drink coffee). The one part of me worries about offending my friends and not wanting to, just as I wouldn't want to offend anyone of any religion, so might not order pork if I were with an orthodox Jew. The other part of me is thinking, "Coffee is legal and good for you in a lot of ways, so who cares?" Nine times out of ten I order the coffee.
I'm not much of a drinker of alcohol, so that doesn't come up, but there are times I'd like to order a glass of wine with dinner, but feel like a complete heathen. I hate feeling that way!
Am I being respectful? Am I being overly cautious? Am I doing what I use to do when I lived in Utah before, which made me angry: trying to please others and not being myself (this I think is different from being respectful). I mean good grief, it's coffee!!
I do appreciate the openness and honesty of my friends when matters of religion come up and I try to reciprocate. In Utah, religion is the very, very large elephant in the room and I use to tiptoe around it, but now, I just try to learn and to educate!
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5 comments:
So I totally don't care if my nonmember friends order coffee or alcohol in my presence. :) That's just me. I won't drink it, but it isn't a big deal if someone else does.
Thank you, Tannie! We should go out for coffee...I'll drink it and you won't care! :)
One of my best friends is an "Easter and Christmas" Catholic (as she calls herself), and before she moved back to her native Texas, we used to go out to eat all the time. She would often order coffee with dessert, and sometimes would order wine. I had not problem with that at all. In fact, if I had known that she wanted to have coffee or wine and was refraining on my account, I would have felt badly about it.
(I love the smell of coffee. Sometimes I take a trip down the coffee aisle of the grocery store just so I can get a few good whiffs.)
Charlotte,
Thank you for commenting! It's funny, 'cause outside of Utah, when people want to get together, we just say, "Wanna go for coffee?" and it doesn't even mean we literally are going to get coffee, it's just a phrase. I've learned not to say it here, or to amend it, but I feel like a dork!
If you and Eric ever come over (we will lock up the dogs!), I will let you sniff our cupboard that houses the coffee :)
I don't care what anyone orders, be them Mormon or other. It is everyones personal choice. Don't feel bad about it, enjoy it. If people get rip roaring drunk, that is not my cup of tea and I'll leave if I don't feel comfortable, no big deal.
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