Must've Been the Brownie

I have no qualms about writing posts that deal with sensitive subjects, like religion, but I've been hesitant to post anything about my weight loss. In January I posted about my weight loss of 8.5 pounds and was totally worried I was going to jinx it. I've now lost 24.5 pounds and if I jinx it, oh well.

I started seriously trying to change my eating and exercise habits January 1. I decided that when I am home, I have to sit down at the table when I want to eat. I don't restrict myself on what I eat, just how I eat. I also exercise quite a bit. I do a lot of walking - with bursts of running - the Wii Fit and the stairs.

The funny thing is, when I really watch what I eat I often don't lose any weight or I even gain a couple pounds. Then, when I have a day like yesterday, I end up losing a pound and a half! I wanted a brownie from Great Harvest, the kind with the white chocolate chips. Their brownies are gigantic anyway, but yesterday they were like brownies on steroids! I did sit down at the table and it took me two separate sittings, but I ate nearly the whole thing, minus some crumbs. Got on the scale this morning, prepared for an increase, and, well, I had to step on the scale twice, just to make sure.

Like a lot of women, unfortunately, I worry about my weight, my appearance and then I get mad at myself for worrying about those things. I know a person's value is not measurable by a scale! I also know that I was eating out of boredom, stress, depression and a lot of other reasons that have nothing to do with hunger. I still get panicked when I think about food, worried that I'm going to buy a cake at the bakery and eat the whole thing, but the thing that helps is knowing I can have a piece of cake, I just have to sit myself down when I eat it.

I hope this is a lifestyle change and that I continue to love my long walks with my dog, my fabulous fruit and yogurt blends and the feeling of being in control. We've got a big move coming up and oh, am I stressed...and oh, do I want to eat that stress right outta here, but I'm going to keep on trying to deal with it more healthily...until I don't...and then I'll try again.

Hangin' with the gals in the neighborhood

Last week my neighbor and friend, Tera, called and invited me to the local LDS church's enrichment night. Enrichment seems to be a time for the women to get together and learn about something of interest. Last week was a focus on the culture of the people of the Marshall Islands, including food, dancing, crafts and information. We didn't have other plans, so I headed on over to the neighborhood church building with Tera.

The food was fantastic! I wish I knew the names of the different dishes, I don't, but I can say they were absolutely delicious. Coconut seems to be a big ingredient and as a huge fan of coconut, I was immensely pleased.

After eating and visiting with women who live in my neighborhood (in the LDS church they call neighborhoods wards, which determines what time you go to church. I think 3 different wards go to church in the building in our neighborhood and each ward has a number. It takes getting use to being called a ward versus a neighborhood when one moves to Utah!), there was a presentation about the culture. A woman, Chelsea, who served an LDS mission in the Marshall Islands, spoke and translated for those from the Marshall Islands. Chelsea spoke of serving her mission in the Marshall Islands and it was fascinating - from the voting structure, the food, the living arrangements to the weather! I was very impressed that she so obviously embraced the culture and the people.

One thing that struck me was when Chelsea was speaking about people who live in very small quarters with many family members and the happiness that exudes from these people. We all know that a big house does not equate to happiness, that things do not bring sustaining pleasure and yet, we (me included) keep trying to get more, buy a bigger house, actually surround ourselves with physical objects instead of the people we love.

I felt very welcome at enrichment night and I definitely took many great things away from the experience. So glad I went and so glad Tera invited me! Sometimes that's what it takes, someone from the "inside" inviting someone from the "outside" to break down these silly, self-constructed walls.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Yes, I heard the song "Changes" by David Bowie while at the Albee's (love their oldies music stations on their tv!). It's a song that has been playing in my head for a few weeks now, given the big change we're about to make in moving back to Michigan.

In about 4 months this blog will probably become defunct, or will change topics, so what I'd like before I go is to include other writers' perspectives on life in Utah.

If you are reading this, please think about submitting a post. I only give the viewpoint of life in Utah as someone who is not part of the dominant culture and I have never been part of the dominant culture. I know the perspective of someone who is LDS or who was LDS and lives in Utah has to be very different from mine.

The photo with this post is just a great pic of Soph and Lucy...has nothing to do with the content.

Taboo Topics

One reason I love living in Utah is because religion is the big ole elephant in the room and in my advanced age, I love facing that elephant. In many places, talking about religion and politics is taboo, and maybe it is here too, but if you're not Mormon it's your right as a minority to discuss your views.

Here's what I'm wondering: if religion and politics are taboo topics, how do we learn and expand our views on very important subjects if we don't talk to people who have differing points of view? I understand that discussions can become attacks, and that's unfortunate, because then nothing is gained. My observation is that we too often surround ourselves with people who have the same religious and political views we have and we may have some great conversations, but have our eyes really been opened?

Need a New Title :(

Though nothing official has yet been signed, it appears we will no longer be living in Utah in about 4 months. My emotions and brain are so rapidly moving, I really don't know what to write, but will try to put into words some of the feelings I'm having.

Fear: after finally thinking this is the place we're going to be for awhile and setting up our lives as such, I'm afraid of picking up once again. I'm afraid of selling our house, finding a new house, picking a school for Sophie, locating new doctors and dentists, and all the other things one has to do when moving across the country.

Sadness: although I was very resistant to moving to Logan 4 years ago, it quickly grew on me in a way I did not experience during my first stint in this town. I have been able to open up about the things that drive me crazy about this state and that in turn has helped me meet some amazing people. I am so sad to have to say good-bye to people who have truly made my life richer.

Excitement: whenever faced with a new journey I cannot help but feel excited at the prospects that lie ahead. Although we will be returning to a place we once lived (Michigan) it will be viewed so differently, I am sure...just as Logan came to mean something else to me than it did 10 years ago. I can't wait to discover new places, meet new people and visit familiar places and embrace old friends.

Hope: I am hopeful for many things, but most of all that this move will be one of great success for our family. Steve has worked so incredibly hard and has enjoyed teaching high school, but so much of what he gained from graduate school wasn't being utilized...not that he didn't try! I've been fortunate in Logan to learn some valuable skills in working with community non-profits and I hope to take those skills to help at least 1 person in Michigan! Soph has had a great experience at her school in Logan and we now value very different things about education than we previously did. We are also leaving with a larger family and hope for a home with some land for our canine children to roam!

So many emotions, thoughts, ideas running through my head and the desire to appreciate all the moments leading up to our move and to be open to the changes as they occur.

To end, I'll borrow a quote, which has been credited to Heraclitus: "Nothing endures but change."