I have been asked to refer to the LDS writing, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" and I can definitely see where my interpretation is going to lead me to make very different assumptions than those who were raised in the LDS religion.
First, I definitely agree that making families strong is an important component in making strong individuals, which will in turn make strong communities. I quote, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." I agree that forgiveness, respect, love, work and mutual recreational activities breed healthy relationships between persons in a family. I think having similar ideas about spirituality may make it easier for a couple to relate to one another, but I also know couples with very different religious beliefs who have strong families.
This line, "We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God," makes sense to me, although I'm sure my understanding of family responsibilities may differ slightly from those intended by the authors of this proclamation, because of what is written elsewhere:
"marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children." My definition of marriage entails love and respect by two consenting adults (preferably over the age of 25)who decide, bravely, to embark on a journey together that involves accepting the changes that will inevitably occur between the individuals, but if understood will strengthen the commitment. I do not think the adults need to be of the opposite sex, nor do I think bearing children needs to occur, in fact, given the overpopulation of our society, I would think God was smart enough to realize that non-child bearing adults marrying is part of a divine plan.
This is the portion that I presume makes my previous observations of sexism within the LDS religion difficult to understand by those who practice the religion: "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." I would say that one of the necessities of life includes nurturing the children and that both parents are responsible for providing the necessities of life, regardless of sex. On a personal note, I tend to think it's great when in a 2-parent household one parent prefers to provide the financial resources necessary for meeting a family's tangible needs and one parent prefers to attend to the daily caregiving of children, but again, I don't think choosing those roles should be based on the person's sex - and if in a homosexual marriage, obviously sex doesn't matter.
This proclamation actually makes me sad, because I see it as limiting persons within confines that negates the commitment and love so many people want to share with the world and with children. I ache when I think of my friends who have partners of the same sex, but are told by society their commitment to one another is somehow wrong. I think of God as embracing all persons, wanting there to be love expressed in our communities that is not limited by a person's sex and the allowance for people to be who they are, without the shame that comes from the judgment of cultural norms created by humans.
Last night I had another wonderful conversation with neighbors of ours, who I adore, and we imagined a world in which all persons had civil unions that were recognized by society and those who wanted a religious ceremony could have that, but one must have a civil union to be recognized as married in our world (I hope I got that right and am not twisting their words!).
I definitely appreciate the commitment to families in Utah - nowhere else has the presence of children been so accepted at community functions, parents are expected and encouraged to be involved in their child's educational endeavors, and many families work together to insure their household is run smoothly with each person responsible for certain tasks. I love those things! I also see many women working outside the home, achieving multiple degrees in education and involved with community organizations, so I really wonder if this proclamation reflects current practices or if it has been adjusted to allow women to feel they can be better nurturers of the children in their care by nurturing themselves, which I think is so important.
I'm excited to read the responses to this, because as always, I know my interpretation comes from my own experiences, my biases and my hopes for myself and my family. When I read the responses of others that may differ from mine, I hope I will remember that they come from the same place in others: a place of wanting what is best for oneself and those one loves.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Observations in Wyoming
I did not have my camera readily available, but if I had, these are the pics I would've taken while stopping in Rock Springs, Wyoming:
1) The store Hide and Fur. The great thing about this siting was that I kept wondering why the words hide (thinking it meant like hide-and-seek) and fur were together and my 10-year old daughter had to explain it to me: hide, as in animal hide. Ohhhh! I am definitely not a typical westerner (yep, I am stereotyping here, but it's my blog, so I can do that).
2) The Loaf 'n Jug, which can also be found in Colorado, and maybe other states, I don't know. Can you imagine saying to your significant other, "Hey hon, will you pick up a loaf...oh, and a jug?" Nice.
3) The shirt worn by the woman at the Wal-Mart (we stopped there to get Subway sandwiches): You don't hunt - so I don't see you (or something, I didn't have my camera to capture the exact words). Wow, she really likes hunting!
I know it is not right to make fun of a state for my biased observations and really, I spent the first two years of my life in New Jersey for pete's sake, but it is such a different world to me and what do we do when faced with something out of the ordinary? We make fun of it. Not nice, not at all politically correct, but we do it.
Here's the religious bit: I believe in reincarnation as taught by the Buddhism philosophy - that if you don't get it right you have to keep coming back, so when I make fun of Wyoming I totally imagine that I will come back living in Wyoming. Yep. I will frequent the Hide and Fur, the Loaf 'n Jug and I will sport t-shirts such as that worn by the woman at Wal-mart. I think belief in this type of karma keeps us on the straight and narrow, most of the time.
I also realize that Wyoming is an amazingly beautiful state - so breathtaking that it made me wonder why we are leaving this part of the country! The people in Wyoming are like people everywhere, and I am a complete jerk for judging them based on my idiotic preconceived ideas of what culture entails. I know this. It's just that the above observations seem so, ya know...Wyoming!
On another note: I had to call the city of Chelsea (where we're hoping to move in Michigan) and ask, "How many dogs may we have?" I realized later I should have added, "We're moving out there from Utah, how many wives can my husband have?" Yep, stereotyping again, 'cause that's what I do. (By the way, you can only have 2 dogs in the city of Chelsea, so it appears we will not be living in the "city" - population is about 5000 - does that qualify as a city?)
1) The store Hide and Fur. The great thing about this siting was that I kept wondering why the words hide (thinking it meant like hide-and-seek) and fur were together and my 10-year old daughter had to explain it to me: hide, as in animal hide. Ohhhh! I am definitely not a typical westerner (yep, I am stereotyping here, but it's my blog, so I can do that).
2) The Loaf 'n Jug, which can also be found in Colorado, and maybe other states, I don't know. Can you imagine saying to your significant other, "Hey hon, will you pick up a loaf...oh, and a jug?" Nice.
3) The shirt worn by the woman at the Wal-Mart (we stopped there to get Subway sandwiches): You don't hunt - so I don't see you (or something, I didn't have my camera to capture the exact words). Wow, she really likes hunting!
I know it is not right to make fun of a state for my biased observations and really, I spent the first two years of my life in New Jersey for pete's sake, but it is such a different world to me and what do we do when faced with something out of the ordinary? We make fun of it. Not nice, not at all politically correct, but we do it.
Here's the religious bit: I believe in reincarnation as taught by the Buddhism philosophy - that if you don't get it right you have to keep coming back, so when I make fun of Wyoming I totally imagine that I will come back living in Wyoming. Yep. I will frequent the Hide and Fur, the Loaf 'n Jug and I will sport t-shirts such as that worn by the woman at Wal-mart. I think belief in this type of karma keeps us on the straight and narrow, most of the time.
I also realize that Wyoming is an amazingly beautiful state - so breathtaking that it made me wonder why we are leaving this part of the country! The people in Wyoming are like people everywhere, and I am a complete jerk for judging them based on my idiotic preconceived ideas of what culture entails. I know this. It's just that the above observations seem so, ya know...Wyoming!
On another note: I had to call the city of Chelsea (where we're hoping to move in Michigan) and ask, "How many dogs may we have?" I realized later I should have added, "We're moving out there from Utah, how many wives can my husband have?" Yep, stereotyping again, 'cause that's what I do. (By the way, you can only have 2 dogs in the city of Chelsea, so it appears we will not be living in the "city" - population is about 5000 - does that qualify as a city?)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Guest Writer: Melanie Hockmuth DeJoode
Heather, I love that you question religion so much! I still do so, also, although I’m pretty comfortable with my beliefs, as undefined as they may be. I was raised as a Christian, but didn’t attend church regularly, as my parents were divorced and I lived with my mom, who didn’t attend church. My dad took me regularly until I was in high school and I decided I didn’t like where we attended (he belongs to a pretty fundamentalist church). At that time, I switched to a Methodist church that one of my friends attended, mainly so that my dad didn’t insist that I go with him. After high school, I quit going altogether.
My mom may be the main source of my skepticism about religion (thank you, Mom!), even though she never really criticized the church too much. She had also been raised a Christian, but left the church when I was in elementary school, under circumstances that I won’t go into here. Having been raised the way I was, I felt a lot of guilt over not going to church, but it just didn’t feel right. I liked the sense of community, but I didn’t agree with some of the teachings of the church or of the feeling that I was being watched by others to see if I was living up to their (the church’s) standards. What I do should be between me and god alone.
While in college in my early 20s, I found the Baha’i Faith. It seemed to fit better with my thoughts in many ways. Baha’is believe in progressive revelation – that we all worship the same god, but that god sent different manifestations at different times to bring his message to the people of the world. Baha’is believe the most recent of those manifestations is a man named Baha’u’llah, who was born in Persia in 1817. In 1863, he announced himself as a divine messenger of god (as were Krishna, Moses, Buddha, Jesus, and Mohammad) and brought new teachings for our time. He sent letters to the kings and rulers of the world proclaiming the coming unification of humanity and urged them to work toward the establishment of a world community and universal peace. Baha’u’llah was exiled throughout most of his life, and lived out his final days in what is now Israel, where the world headquarters of the Baha’i Faith can be found.
The Baha’i Faith espouses the equality of men and women, harmony of science and religion, elimination of prejudice, unity of humankind, and the importance of striving for world peace. In addition, each person is encouraged to undergo an independent investigation of truth, instead of blindly believing and following a minister or other religious head. I became a Baha’i and practiced those beliefs for quite a few years. For the most part, I loved the feelings within the Baha’i community. For a variety of reasons, I stopped attending Baha’i activities.
My credo (which admittedly comes somewhat from the Baha’i Faith) was that “heaven” is nearness to god, while “hell” is distance from god. Meaning that, regardless of whether or not there is a real heaven or hell (I’m still not sure about this, but I’m ok with not knowing), what we do here on earth is what’s important. It means knowing that what we’re doing is right or wrong, and striving to do right for ourselves and all those around us. When I saw the quote you have on your blog, it completely summed up my beliefs and went along with my concept of heaven and hell. "When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion."
I don’t see myself as a religious person, but I definitely see myself as spiritual. I believe that we are all connected. I don’t know how to explain it, but I believe it’s there, that there is some “spirit” in the universe that ties us all together and is bigger than we can possibly imagine. I also believe that by calling on that spirit or connection we can make things happen. It’s similar to prayer, but I’m not really praying to a specific person or to god, as much as to the spirit that surrounds and connects us all. And I don’t see that spirit granting my prayer, so much as that by put it out there I am bringing it into reality, whether I’m seeking assistance, guidance, or clarity.
Here’s the part that goes along with your thoughts about god being sexless. I feel this spirit to be female. I see it as a feminine, loving, compassionate, mother-like entity. This is most likely due to my upbringing and cultural experiences of the mother being the loving, caring one. But the funny thing is, when I “pray” I often picture my prayer being addressed to a male figure. This, I suppose, goes along with my religious upbringing in a male-dominated church, where I always prayed to a male god. I have tried over time, with some small amount of success, to picture that prayer going to a female or gender-neutral figure instead of a male figure. At some point, I decided it didn’t really matter who I pictured when I pray, since I know in my heart what that spirit means to me and know that it’s going to the right place, no matter what image I hold in my head.
As for various religions believing that men should hold certain types of positions that women can’t hold, well, I don’t understand that, other than to say the I think it probably came about due to a belief that men are superior to women. It has held on over time for some reason, maybe tradition or a need for men to feel superior, but should be abolished. I must say that was one thing I really liked about the Baha’i Faith. Men and women are, generally, seen as equal and can all hold any position within the Faith. The one exception (that I’ve seen) to that rule in the Baha’i Faith involves education. Because women have traditionally been the ones to raise and educate the children in a family, it is believed that if a choice needs to be made on who receives a better education then it should be the female, as she will be responsible for training future generations. While I don’t totally agree (I think that ideally men and women should both take part in educating the kids), I am thrilled that for once women are given an advantage over men!
I also want to vent my frustration on one other aspect of many religions: that god is to be feared and retribution will follow for wrongdoings (either from god himself, or in the form of the devil). I have never seen god in this way. I see god (if he/she indeed exists) as a loving being. I don’t believe that god guides our actions on a daily basis, so I don’t give credit to god for the good things in my life. Likewise, I don’t blame the devil for tempting me to do bad. I take responsibility for my own actions, good or bad, and believe that god or spirit or whatever is watching from somewhere out there, cheering us on, hoping that we’ll make good choices, and laughing until his/her sides ache at some of the things we humans get into.
So, all that said, I don’t personally believe that any formal religious beliefs are necessary. I agree with much of what I see, but there are things I don't agree with and can't go along with based solely on the fact that the religion/church/etc. tells me I should. I know a lot of people say that that is what faith is about, but I just don't see it that way. I can believe in something that I can't see or prove, but I can't go along with something that seems wrong to me. It took me a long time and I went through a lot of guilt before arriving at the place I am now, but for the first time, I truly feel comfortable with my beliefs. I know that what I am doing and what I believe are right for me.
While I may not agree with the doctrines of all religious beliefs, if others choose to believe in a specific religion, that is up to them and I’m in no position to judge them for doing so. Different things work for different people, and no one way is inherently superior to another. I know that religion serves many purposes, both spiritual and social, and that people choose to believe what they believe for a variety of reasons. I’m cool with that, since, hopefully, whatever path we choose will bring each of us closer to being who we truly should be.
My mom may be the main source of my skepticism about religion (thank you, Mom!), even though she never really criticized the church too much. She had also been raised a Christian, but left the church when I was in elementary school, under circumstances that I won’t go into here. Having been raised the way I was, I felt a lot of guilt over not going to church, but it just didn’t feel right. I liked the sense of community, but I didn’t agree with some of the teachings of the church or of the feeling that I was being watched by others to see if I was living up to their (the church’s) standards. What I do should be between me and god alone.
While in college in my early 20s, I found the Baha’i Faith. It seemed to fit better with my thoughts in many ways. Baha’is believe in progressive revelation – that we all worship the same god, but that god sent different manifestations at different times to bring his message to the people of the world. Baha’is believe the most recent of those manifestations is a man named Baha’u’llah, who was born in Persia in 1817. In 1863, he announced himself as a divine messenger of god (as were Krishna, Moses, Buddha, Jesus, and Mohammad) and brought new teachings for our time. He sent letters to the kings and rulers of the world proclaiming the coming unification of humanity and urged them to work toward the establishment of a world community and universal peace. Baha’u’llah was exiled throughout most of his life, and lived out his final days in what is now Israel, where the world headquarters of the Baha’i Faith can be found.
The Baha’i Faith espouses the equality of men and women, harmony of science and religion, elimination of prejudice, unity of humankind, and the importance of striving for world peace. In addition, each person is encouraged to undergo an independent investigation of truth, instead of blindly believing and following a minister or other religious head. I became a Baha’i and practiced those beliefs for quite a few years. For the most part, I loved the feelings within the Baha’i community. For a variety of reasons, I stopped attending Baha’i activities.
My credo (which admittedly comes somewhat from the Baha’i Faith) was that “heaven” is nearness to god, while “hell” is distance from god. Meaning that, regardless of whether or not there is a real heaven or hell (I’m still not sure about this, but I’m ok with not knowing), what we do here on earth is what’s important. It means knowing that what we’re doing is right or wrong, and striving to do right for ourselves and all those around us. When I saw the quote you have on your blog, it completely summed up my beliefs and went along with my concept of heaven and hell. "When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion."
I don’t see myself as a religious person, but I definitely see myself as spiritual. I believe that we are all connected. I don’t know how to explain it, but I believe it’s there, that there is some “spirit” in the universe that ties us all together and is bigger than we can possibly imagine. I also believe that by calling on that spirit or connection we can make things happen. It’s similar to prayer, but I’m not really praying to a specific person or to god, as much as to the spirit that surrounds and connects us all. And I don’t see that spirit granting my prayer, so much as that by put it out there I am bringing it into reality, whether I’m seeking assistance, guidance, or clarity.
Here’s the part that goes along with your thoughts about god being sexless. I feel this spirit to be female. I see it as a feminine, loving, compassionate, mother-like entity. This is most likely due to my upbringing and cultural experiences of the mother being the loving, caring one. But the funny thing is, when I “pray” I often picture my prayer being addressed to a male figure. This, I suppose, goes along with my religious upbringing in a male-dominated church, where I always prayed to a male god. I have tried over time, with some small amount of success, to picture that prayer going to a female or gender-neutral figure instead of a male figure. At some point, I decided it didn’t really matter who I pictured when I pray, since I know in my heart what that spirit means to me and know that it’s going to the right place, no matter what image I hold in my head.
As for various religions believing that men should hold certain types of positions that women can’t hold, well, I don’t understand that, other than to say the I think it probably came about due to a belief that men are superior to women. It has held on over time for some reason, maybe tradition or a need for men to feel superior, but should be abolished. I must say that was one thing I really liked about the Baha’i Faith. Men and women are, generally, seen as equal and can all hold any position within the Faith. The one exception (that I’ve seen) to that rule in the Baha’i Faith involves education. Because women have traditionally been the ones to raise and educate the children in a family, it is believed that if a choice needs to be made on who receives a better education then it should be the female, as she will be responsible for training future generations. While I don’t totally agree (I think that ideally men and women should both take part in educating the kids), I am thrilled that for once women are given an advantage over men!
I also want to vent my frustration on one other aspect of many religions: that god is to be feared and retribution will follow for wrongdoings (either from god himself, or in the form of the devil). I have never seen god in this way. I see god (if he/she indeed exists) as a loving being. I don’t believe that god guides our actions on a daily basis, so I don’t give credit to god for the good things in my life. Likewise, I don’t blame the devil for tempting me to do bad. I take responsibility for my own actions, good or bad, and believe that god or spirit or whatever is watching from somewhere out there, cheering us on, hoping that we’ll make good choices, and laughing until his/her sides ache at some of the things we humans get into.
So, all that said, I don’t personally believe that any formal religious beliefs are necessary. I agree with much of what I see, but there are things I don't agree with and can't go along with based solely on the fact that the religion/church/etc. tells me I should. I know a lot of people say that that is what faith is about, but I just don't see it that way. I can believe in something that I can't see or prove, but I can't go along with something that seems wrong to me. It took me a long time and I went through a lot of guilt before arriving at the place I am now, but for the first time, I truly feel comfortable with my beliefs. I know that what I am doing and what I believe are right for me.
While I may not agree with the doctrines of all religious beliefs, if others choose to believe in a specific religion, that is up to them and I’m in no position to judge them for doing so. Different things work for different people, and no one way is inherently superior to another. I know that religion serves many purposes, both spiritual and social, and that people choose to believe what they believe for a variety of reasons. I’m cool with that, since, hopefully, whatever path we choose will bring each of us closer to being who we truly should be.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
More Questions about Religion
I have been reading Sue Monk Kidd's book, "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" and came across a passage today that really struck me:
A woman in Deep Sleep in one who goes about in an unconscious state. She seems unaware or unfazed by the truth of her own female life, the truth about women in general, the way women and the feminine have been wounded, devalued, and limited within culture, churches, and families. She cannot see the wound or feel the pain. She has never acknowledged, much less confronted, sexism within the church, biblical interpretations, or Christian doctrine. Okay, so women have been largely missing from positions of church power, we've been silenced and relegated to positions of subordination by biblical interpretations and doctrine, and God has been represented to us as exclusively male. So what? The woman in Deep Sleep is oblivious to the psychological and spiritual impact this has had on her. Or maybe she has some awareness of it all but keeps it sequestered nicely in her head, rarely allowing it to move down into her heart or into the politics of her spirituality.
Kidd was raised in a home that practiced the Baptist religion and I do not know much about that particular religion. I am happy to say that the church we currently attend is actively trying to eliminate sexism and the pastor refers to God as she and he. I actually find myself feeling somewhat uncomfortable when the pastor refers to God as she, but I equate that discomfort to years of hearing God referred to as a he. I do not know much about the hierarchy of Presbyterianism, but I do know pastors can be male or female and other positions held within the church are not delegated based on one's sex.
I am going to write now about the LDS religion, based on my perception and as always, I hope if you are reading this and you have a different perception you will voice it.
The LDS religion seems to separate roles based on sex a lot. Only men can serve in the highest positions of the church: President, The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the Bisohp and the Bishopric. Women do have roles that oversee areas, but they seem to be related only to the women and children and not governing church doctrine. When children are baptized they are baptized by men and the mother remains in her seat. When babies are blessed men bless them and again, the mother stays in her seat. These last two examples especially baffle me, because the mother birthed the child, which to me should not be taken lightly.
I am fully aware that the LDS Church is not the only one that does not allow women to hold positions of authority - I think most people are aware that the Catholic Church only has male popes. I also attended a Muslim service and men and women are physically separated during prayers, so separation of persons based on sex is not exclusive to the Mormon religion (during a 3-hour LDS Service both sexes attend a sacrament meeting together, then Sunday School, but the final hour is spent with persons of the same sex).
I actually think it is good to gather together with only other women and when I attended a Relief Society Meeting, I enjoyed the experience. I was also crazy curious to know what was going on in the men's meeting. Also, the church we attend right now has a men's group that meets once a week and I have not seen a women's group. Again, I so want to attend the men's group to see if the separation of persons based on their sex is of value.
What I don't understand is being a part of something that states you cannot hold a position of authority because you are not a man. What do men have that women don't? I write this fully knowing that Steve and I, in many ways, live in a somewhat traditional marriage: he furthered his education more than mine, he works full-time and brings home the bulk of our income, while I am the one who makes doctor's appointments for Sophie and arranges get-togethers with her friends. As far as housework goes, neither of us does a whole lot of that, but when we do, I think it is fairly equal.
So I write this hoping for responses that will tell me what I am missing. Or, that women will write and admit they see there is an unfair stance of positions of power, but there is so much more in the religion that keeps them loyal and maybe they even see a change down the road.
I know it has been so ingrained in me to view God as a male figure, that even though I know God is beyond our ideas of sex, I instantly conjure up an image of a male when I think of God. My hope is to learn from others who see God as sexless and to get to that point myself. I also know that I was raised within a religion whose savior is a male: Jesus Christ. I actually think Mary was the one we should be looking to (another book by Kidd, "Traveling with Pomegranates" explores this topic) for strength and understanding. I also think we don't need to worship anything or anyone, but find what it is within ourselves and others that represents omnibenevolence, omniscience and omnipotence.
A woman in Deep Sleep in one who goes about in an unconscious state. She seems unaware or unfazed by the truth of her own female life, the truth about women in general, the way women and the feminine have been wounded, devalued, and limited within culture, churches, and families. She cannot see the wound or feel the pain. She has never acknowledged, much less confronted, sexism within the church, biblical interpretations, or Christian doctrine. Okay, so women have been largely missing from positions of church power, we've been silenced and relegated to positions of subordination by biblical interpretations and doctrine, and God has been represented to us as exclusively male. So what? The woman in Deep Sleep is oblivious to the psychological and spiritual impact this has had on her. Or maybe she has some awareness of it all but keeps it sequestered nicely in her head, rarely allowing it to move down into her heart or into the politics of her spirituality.
Kidd was raised in a home that practiced the Baptist religion and I do not know much about that particular religion. I am happy to say that the church we currently attend is actively trying to eliminate sexism and the pastor refers to God as she and he. I actually find myself feeling somewhat uncomfortable when the pastor refers to God as she, but I equate that discomfort to years of hearing God referred to as a he. I do not know much about the hierarchy of Presbyterianism, but I do know pastors can be male or female and other positions held within the church are not delegated based on one's sex.
I am going to write now about the LDS religion, based on my perception and as always, I hope if you are reading this and you have a different perception you will voice it.
The LDS religion seems to separate roles based on sex a lot. Only men can serve in the highest positions of the church: President, The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the Bisohp and the Bishopric. Women do have roles that oversee areas, but they seem to be related only to the women and children and not governing church doctrine. When children are baptized they are baptized by men and the mother remains in her seat. When babies are blessed men bless them and again, the mother stays in her seat. These last two examples especially baffle me, because the mother birthed the child, which to me should not be taken lightly.
I am fully aware that the LDS Church is not the only one that does not allow women to hold positions of authority - I think most people are aware that the Catholic Church only has male popes. I also attended a Muslim service and men and women are physically separated during prayers, so separation of persons based on sex is not exclusive to the Mormon religion (during a 3-hour LDS Service both sexes attend a sacrament meeting together, then Sunday School, but the final hour is spent with persons of the same sex).
I actually think it is good to gather together with only other women and when I attended a Relief Society Meeting, I enjoyed the experience. I was also crazy curious to know what was going on in the men's meeting. Also, the church we attend right now has a men's group that meets once a week and I have not seen a women's group. Again, I so want to attend the men's group to see if the separation of persons based on their sex is of value.
What I don't understand is being a part of something that states you cannot hold a position of authority because you are not a man. What do men have that women don't? I write this fully knowing that Steve and I, in many ways, live in a somewhat traditional marriage: he furthered his education more than mine, he works full-time and brings home the bulk of our income, while I am the one who makes doctor's appointments for Sophie and arranges get-togethers with her friends. As far as housework goes, neither of us does a whole lot of that, but when we do, I think it is fairly equal.
So I write this hoping for responses that will tell me what I am missing. Or, that women will write and admit they see there is an unfair stance of positions of power, but there is so much more in the religion that keeps them loyal and maybe they even see a change down the road.
I know it has been so ingrained in me to view God as a male figure, that even though I know God is beyond our ideas of sex, I instantly conjure up an image of a male when I think of God. My hope is to learn from others who see God as sexless and to get to that point myself. I also know that I was raised within a religion whose savior is a male: Jesus Christ. I actually think Mary was the one we should be looking to (another book by Kidd, "Traveling with Pomegranates" explores this topic) for strength and understanding. I also think we don't need to worship anything or anyone, but find what it is within ourselves and others that represents omnibenevolence, omniscience and omnipotence.
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