Brought Together by a Common Cause

I received very, very sad news over the weekend. A person who was very important during a brief time in my life, passed away, far too young, from pancreatic cancer. He leaves a wife and 2 sons behind and although I hadn't talked to him in 5 years, I smile at the memories of our brief connection.

Dave Johnson was part of our small team that tried to save Family Housing at the University of Michigan. For about a month he, another neighbor and myself stayed up all hours of the night putting together information, emailing residents and basically doing whatever we could to promote and continue the uniqueness of our community. Along with my husband and another great neighbor, John Norton, Dave even spoke in front of the Board of Regents to demonstrate the importance of maintaining our neighborhood.

I only knew Dave for a brief time, but I can say, without a doubt, that he was one of the kindest, most positive people I've ever known. When I checked his Facebook information after hearing of his death, I read that he was agnostic. He and I shared that also - the not knowing. I don't know whether or not Dave knows more about religion now, but I believe that because of the life he lived on earth, he is at peace. Dave brought peace, promoted peace and stood for peace, so he is now comforted by the peace of his actions.

Miss ya Dave. Glad I knew you, glad I was inspired by you and so glad that you, Lisa and I got to share a lot of laughs together.

Certainty

First, this is the view we had on our walk today. Pretty amazing and one of the reasons we returned to Utah. Unfortunately, Cache Valley often has the worst air quality in the country during the winter, due to trapped pollution, but days like this: sunny and crisp, reinvigorate my spirit!

I was asked to write something for a pamphlet First Presbyterian is putting together for Lent. It can be of a spiritual practice, an account of one's relationship with Jesus or when one felt a prayer was answered.

I wrote what I feel, which doesn't fit the mold of Christianity, but it is of what I am certain:

I believe, if there is a god, that god is so far beyond our comprehension that we can only understand the very beginnings of its existence. It is not our job on earth to figure out what happens after we die. We do not know who is given grace. We are not to judge who is right or wrong in their practices of worship. We are here to love one another and to show that love through acts of kindness. Whether there is a god or not will not take away from the kindness we can bestow upon others. If there is a god, surely our kindness makes god happy. If there is not a god, we are still better people for giving of ourselves to others.

The religious services I have visited often contain language that speaks to a certainty in an afterlife, a specific savior or even a believe that the organization is true. I cannot imagine speaking those words with conviction. Just the idea of a higher being baffles me and if there is one, I do not think I can speculate as to a plan or agenda that this higher being has without lessening the magnitude of their abilities.

For instance, I often hear people say that we will know the truth when we die. Really? What if we thought that before and this is what happened after we died? What if that is just something we say to make death less fearful? Why do we need to assume there is something after this? Why would God decide that that is the point in which we will reach enlightenment? I'm just not convinced it's that simple.

So for now my certainty lies in something that is hard enough for me to follow: being kind to everyone. EVERYONE! Just a second ago I was short with Sophie and I'm writing about kindness, so obviously it is an ongoing struggle, but I would assume that persons from all religions would agree that a god worth worshipping is a god who promotes kindness to all.

Converted?

The family has now been attending First Presbyterian consistently for about 3 months and a turning point was when Sophie was asked to light the candles last week and she did it, like a pro! I've been feeling like it gives Sophie something to hold on to, something to expect and something for which she can always use as a base when and if she wants.

I was raised Methodist and Presbyterian - not very different from one another, and was baptized, but never confirmed. I have no idea if I'll ever officially join a church, but I can see us attending First Pres for quite awhile.

My problem is, I'm not a Christian and I just cannot envision myself ever fully believing that Jesus Christ is the savior. As I've written (I think) before, I find it egotistical to think one religion has it right and all others are missing this very huge component. There are so many people doing wonderful things from all belief structures and what I can say I do believe is that each person is deserving of eternal happiness, not that I am even sure there is a place such as heaven that offers eternal happiness. I do not think there is a hell nor satan and I do not like the prayer in which we all are suppose to speak of what sinful creatures we are. I'd rather focus on the positive!

So we'll keep going to First Pres and enjoy the community and message and see what develops. Oh, and it gives Soph some time to catch up on her reading or yes...her DS playing, as she did yesterday.

8.5

Ok, I know I'm totally going to jinx it and gain 10 pounds by writing about it, but I've lost 8.5 pounds since the start of the year. Most of this has to be due to the working out I've done and I am now highly addicted to the Wii Fit. I've also cut back on the eating, but I still have sweets everyday...I cannot and will not give them up. I never want to be the person that lists my daily intake as fish, veggies, and water. Those are great things, I eat them, but there are some M&Ms in there too, and cookies and the dark chocolate Doves...